Digging Deeper

It’s hard to know when you aren’t well. I think many of us are pretty good at being highly functional, and when cracks surface, we’d rather just patch them over and move on. But sometimes, excavating is needed, as that patch wears away only to reveal greater problems underneath.

I’m grateful that the role of the Holy Spirit is not merely to patch our souls. He wants that we are whole, and yet what we fear is that somehow we will be left vulnerable to our own shame. The fact is, until I see what’s wrong with me, the less I know of the graciousness of God. Because what’s wrong will not condemn me (no matter how much the enemy wants for me to believe otherwise). Instead, the Spirit of God says, “Come.” And I must trust that this is the best resolution of all.

 

 

Be Happy

Our western culture values happiness as a worthy pursuit. We tell each other, “you do you.” If you aren’t happy, you find what makes you happy. And what makes you happy is completely up to you (though I think even our post-modern culture would say there are limits to this).

When Scripture says “blessed,” it has this idea of “happy.” Yet we as Christians can conflate biblical ideas of happiness with how our culture defines happiness and end up with a distorted version of the gospel. Happiness is not an individualized truth that we find within ourselves. Rather, it is found in submission to God (Psalm 1) and our Savior, Jesus Christ (Psalm 2).

I write this to remind myself when I feel like I’m on the outside looking in. When the grass seems greener on the other side. When the heart wants what it wants. When faith seems unsatisfying, and I must preach to myself, ”oh heart, be happy, let your heart find satisfaction in the One who satisfies.”

 

 

 

Stress Test

When I’m stressed, I become very rigid and intolerant. I think I’ve reached that at various moments recently, and I know it when I find myself more irritated and resentful. I really can’t stand people’s inability to get with the program, and I can be even more harsh on my own self for not having everything together.

I’m not always sure how to remedy myself in these situations. I long to be more joyful, not so easily undone or bothered. I know I have to let go of trying to be and do all things in every situation. I need that proverbial chill pill. I need to relax.

Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (2 Cor 3:17). This offer to be free is very good indeed, and speaks to the harshest critic in me.

A God Who Sees

When I’m anxious, God can seem somehow absent. If I continue this belief, there is a resulting darkness of which I am not easily persuaded out of. Does God not see? Am I beyond His omniscience?

Graciously, these questions prompt the Spirit’s voice, reminding me that I indeed have a God who sees.

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. – Psalm 139:9-13

It’s easy for me to get inside my own head. Because of this, I have to untangle fact from fiction by leaning on God’s Word. Moreover, I need the community of the redeemed to remind me that this too, shall pass. God is present. And He knows.

The False Allure of Work

I’m a really good worker bee. I’ve known this about myself, but I’m really just now understanding my relationship with work. I work hard, and for the most part, I succeed because of it. While this fits the American, pull yourself up by your own bootstraps kind of ideal, I think an over reliance on work is deceptive. That is, sometimes I think that because I work hard, I should be shielded from certain negativity, like criticism. As if working hard gives you some kind of immunity. This is a false belief that I have wrongly internalized.

For Christ to say that we who labor and are heavy laden are to come to Him because His yoke is easy and burden is light speaks to the worker bee in me, inviting me to trust in a Savior who ultimately gives us rest (Matthew 11:28). My work can never save me, and yet it’s such a tangible activity that draws me to rely on its merit. Thankful for grace and mercies that are new each morning.

Joy and Sorrow

Much of life fluctuates between joy and sorrow – sometimes in alternating seasons, and at other times sorrow lingers and joy is elusive.

In times of sorrow, there is longing for deliverance, which is usually met with the consolation that “time heals all wounds.” But does it really? Does it ever completely remove my sorrow?

Scripture contends that while there is a time for everything (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8) God is the Ultimate Restorer (1 Peter 5:10). He will make all things new (Revelation 21:4) and He will one day wipe away all our tears. At present we are comforted (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17), giving us joy that one day will be experienced in full when Christ, our blessed hope returns (Titus 2:14).

Revisiting the Once Familiar

When I return to something I haven’t done in awhile I feel this sense of condemnation for having neglected it for so long. The newness of it again reminds me that time passed now reveals an unfamiliarity that is altogether uncomfortable. I don’t like that I can’t just pick up where I left off. Instead I have to really work to get back to where I once was. The prospect of this keeps me from really wanting to revisit anything ever again.

This is true in so many things I want to go back to, but this year I decided to just deal with it and after more than a decade, I am lacing up my skates and getting back on the ice again. (Now rereading the above, the lead in to this disclosure seems way too dramatic for whatever skills I formerly possessed). My first time back on the ice exposed that predictable insecurity that comes with having not done something in a really long time. I hated that feeling, but yet I went back the second week and laced up again.

I’m learning to embrace the wobbliness and be okay with it. That’s a win for the perfectionist in me.

Unity Greater Than the #Hashtag

When we come together with like others there is a kind of unity. Unity seems to find strength when values and beliefs of that like-minded group are challenged. We see this with each trending hashtag on social media that ignites a bandwagon of response.

I would think that Christian unity is more than just precipitated by some cause or event. In Jesus’ high priestly prayer in John 17:20-26, He prays that we (believers) may be one just as he and the Father are one. Jesus repeats this petition for oneness three times in His prayer. Part of this repetition perhaps speaks to how difficult this is, and that Christian unity is more than the occasional unity we see displayed in our world. In fact, its example is found in the very Godhead. And this unity holds an expressed purpose so others would know Jesus.

Unity is a hard ask when there are so many reasons why it’s difficult for me to be one with another Christian, especially when my idea of one is often just me. And yet there is the love of the Father and the Son extending to an unlovely me. 

Father, help me to love as you love, and that we as a church may be one as you and Jesus to declare your saving grace to the world.

Coming to Light

I think what’s most unsettling in the recent tidal wave of allegations of sexual misconduct amongst prominent public figures is that these wrongs have largely taken years (in some cases, decades) to surface. The chorus of “me, too” in the aftermath of all these revelations says that there is something pervasive about this issue that makes me wonder then, how many other evils are there that go unaddressed? What I am certain of is that Scripture doesn’t gloss over pointing out what’s wrong (e.g., Colossians 3:5-10, Romans 13:13) and exhorts us to live upright, godly lives (Titus 2:11) as people redeemed by Jesus Christ.

We must acknowledge that there is in fact a badness that resides in all of us, and when all comes to light on that day that Christ returns, we shall see in full the greatness of our rescue.

 

 

When to Take a Chance

I can be paralyzed by decision making just as much as the next person. I blame my tendency to want to make the perfect decision and avoid failure. I recently heard that if you are 100% sure about a decision it’s likely you’re making that decision too late. This makes me think – how certain should you be before deciding? 

I’m not talking about daily decisions that you really shouldn’t be stymied by. Like what to eat for lunch. It’s a low stakes decision. So you choose wrongly. The next day you have the opportunity to make a different (perhaps better?) choice (as I write this, the fact that you can even choose what to eat for lunch is a privilege). 

The decisions that I’m referring to will cost you more than your lunch. I’m not sure how many of these you have to make daily, weekly, or monthly. I would say that if you’re not having to make these decisions regularly you’re really not getting yourself out there enough. That said, if you do have one of these decisions to make, how sure do you have to be? 

I’m learning to take a chance with 51% certainty. What I mean is, when there is a whole lot I’m not sure of, but enough to compel me in a certain direction, even if only marginally. It is here where faith emerges – faith that God is sovereign, and that you are making a choice with the faculties you’ve been given. “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act” (Prov 37:5). This is a reminder to me after a trepidatious decision that yes, He can be trusted (trepidation for me being 51% certainty, for others, maybe less, maybe more).